How are you?
Enjoy your evening
Congratulations on your promotion/new job/new house/…
Nice to have you back
I missed you
I am so happy for you
Good Luck. Wish you the best!
Good for you!
How many times have you said Nice to have you back or Good for you! not because it’s polite, but because you actually mean it? In this case, I am talking about those people that are not in your most intimate circle. We all know the above expressions by heart and use some of them everyday and everywhere. Not so weird, since we were raised with them. It has something to do with having manners and being polite. However these polite expressions reach their goal only, if they are sincere. So how do you know if someone is sincere? When you have eye-to-eye contact, words will do 10%, but that bodylanguage kicks ass with 90%.
Imagine this. You meet someone for the first time. You look that person in the eye and shake his/her hand. Within a few seconds the first impression made. That first impression can either be good, doubtful or bad. Of course it’s just an impression, it doesn’t mean anything. Yet. Let’s assume the first impression is in this case bad. But you decide to give it a chance. However, everytime when that person says “Wish you well”, or “Good luck”, you’re not feeling it. Or it sounds like that person doesn’t mean it. Why? Because the words seem polite, but the body language says “whatever”. It’s a matter of seconds, but you know: this is not sincere. Even more important: your feeling about that person was right all along…
Being polite means nothing if you’re not sincere
It’s good to be polite and respectful. Especially when you meet someone for the first time. However as time goes by, the importance of just being polite fades away and sincerity starts to take the leading role. Don’t get me wrong: it’s good to be polite and respectful by using those good old expressions that we learned years ago. Still, it’s even better if you mean what you say. Or: just say nothing at all if it doesn’t interest you. Simple as that. It’s better to be sincerely uninterested than pretend to care. Also, being polite means nothing if you’re not sincere. In facebook terms we could say: Dislike, thumbs down and be done with it. Ofcourse this is not possible in real life.
You can’t always ignore people who are not sincere or make them disappear with a dislike button. Simply, because you will always have those around you who genuinely care and those who don’t give a damn. Some people might think that sincerity is rare…but it’s there. Those not sincere persons around you are actually quite useful. And they don’t even know it. If you observe and recognize the not sincere patterns, you know exactly when you should not pay much attention (preferably as less as possible) to these persons. You also know how to separate the weat from the chaff. Very efficient. Even better, you can be a good example: be sincere and look out for those who are the same. Sincere, positive vibes all around. And guess who’s looking for those sincere, positive vibes: Everyone.
Ik ben iemand die niet goed kan toneelspelen. Bij mij is het ‘what you see is what you get’. Dat was een beetje onhandig toen ik een sales functie had ;).